The “Daily Show” correspondent Jaboukie Young-White suggested Trump could improve his numbers by trying to get in good with black Twitter (“the only gated community he isn’t allowed into”). But first, Young-White said, the president would have to stop tweeting about “Fox & Friends.”
“Tweet about shows people actually watch, you know? Like that show with the black baby or whatever that gets kidnapped by Mandy Moore, but then it turns out being a good thing.” — JABOUKIE YOUNG-WHITE, describing “This Is Us”
Fallon had a few thoughts on Beto O’Rourke’s presidential campaign — mainly, that the Texan should “cool it with the blue shirts, bro.”
“There’s too many of them. It’s insane. You look exactly the same every day. It’s like one of the Brooks brothers got stuck inside ‘Groundhog Day.’ You’re campaigning for president of the United States, not trying to sell OxiClean.” — JIMMY FALLON
Fallon also suggested that O’Rourke stop campaigning from the top of his minivan: “You can’t become president if you’re standing on a van down by the river.” He said O’Rourke needed to step up his game with Pete Buttigieg threatening to eclipse him as the cool, young white guy in the race.
“Beto, do some interviews, do a town hall. Because Mayor Pete’s coming in hot. And right now, you’re just a dude who supports legal marijuana, wears the same shirt every day and rides around in a van. You’re Shaggy from ‘Scooby-Doo.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump-Dorsey Edition)
“I bet this is going to inspire more people to run for office. People are going to be on stage like, ‘I’m running for president so that I can ask Jeff Bezos what happened to my tube socks! Which were supposed to be here by Wednesday!’” — TREVOR NOAH
“It got awkward when Jack realized pressing the mute button doesn’t work on people in real life.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Out of habit, he met with the C.E.O. of Twitter at 3 a.m. while sitting on the toilet.” — CONAN O’BRIEN
“Poor Jack Dorsey. He has to explain to a president that some of his followers were deleted because they were bots and spam accounts. It’s like breaking the news to a child that Santa isn’t real. It’s like, ‘Sir, you’re 72 now, so I think you’re old enough to know the truth: @MIKHAIL_62875 isn’t a real person.’” — TREVOR NOAH
The Bits Worth Watching
Watching other people play games can be boring, unless it’s Brie Larson playing a virtual reality game called “Beat Saber” in a suit and no shoes.