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‘Put the Boot on Air Force One’
President Trump went to El Paso on Wednesday to visit survivors and emergency responders after last weekend’s shooting there. Late-night hosts were quick to point out that he still owes the city more than half a million dollars for security during a campaign rally in February.
“Man, going back to El Paso when you owe the city half a million dollars is a bold move. They’re going to have to put the boot on Air Force One.” — SETH MEYERS
“Trump owed an initial fee of about $470,000, but the city tacked on a $20,000 one-time late fee in June. And of course Donald Trump has incurred a late fee. That’s so him. I’m surprised his Oval Office desk isn’t covered in unreturned Blockbuster DVDs.” — SETH MEYERS
“Trump’s off to the Hamptons tomorrow. He has a fund-raiser with a top price of $250,000 a head. I’m guessing none of that will go to El Paso.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The hosts also took the president to task for bragging about how many people had attended the February rally.
“A local television station released video today showing President Trump bragging about the crowd size at his rallies while talking to medical staff treating victims of the El Paso shootings. Said one doctor, ‘That’s very interesting. Have I shown you our psych ward?’” — SETH MEYERS
“Presumably, he was there to give comfort to victims and families and those who helped save lives after the shootings over the weekend, but somehow, once again, he managed to make what should have been a day about others all about him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump is supposed to be consoling people in a hospital, and I think we all know nothing says ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ quite like the double thumbs up.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Punchiest Punchlines (Annual Iowa State Fair Edition)
“We’ve spent a lot of time over the last couple of weeks talking about Trump’s racist rhetoric. But there’s one race Trump dislikes more than all the others, and that’s the race for the Democratic nomination.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Starting today, all the Democratic presidential candidates are visiting the Iowa State Fair. Yep, it’s the time of the year where they all pretend to be relatable by wearing jeans.” — JIMMY FALLON
“This is that very stupid time in American politics when the presidential hopefuls have to impress Iowans by posing next to a farm animal sculpted out of butter.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“But the fair is a huge event featuring deep-fried Twinkies, bacon-wrapped sausage, and brownies on a stick. Or as one guy put it [imitating Trump], ‘Wow, it’s just like the White House.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“The fair can be rough, though. It’s basically the time when a candidate is cruising in the polls and then there’s an unfortunate photo of them eating a corn dog.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Will Ferrell’s “Anchorman” character, Ron Burgundy, was the surprise special guest on several late night shows Thursday, performing stand-up and promoting his new podcast.